A time for contemplation

That picture above? It clearly shows my mood. Of course, the dog’s thoughts might not be contemplative, but more about his next meal. Who knows? But let me get on with what I’m meaning to say.

The nights have been quite cool around here for a couple weeks. The forecast calls for more in the 40s coming up. It is September now, but this all began in August. The leaves on the trees are browning, although I can see some bright oranges and a few yellows from my window as I type this. The remainder of my tomatoes are probably NOT going to ripen. Fried green tomatoes, anyone? Or pickled? I’ve never cared for either, so I’m not sure what I’m going to do with them. Still, there are sunny daytime temperatures in the 80s this weekend (with a late storm), so a few more tomatoes could get enough color to ripen on the windowsill.

In the past, I have welcomed the changes this time of year. The cool nights. The shorter daylight hours—mostly because it gave me the excuse without guilt to take a break from all the outdoor chores and activities, and focus on other things in the long, slow evenings. The holidays coming. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Of course, Christmas. Still Christmas. Always Christmas.

But right now, I’m feeling a little iffy about it all. Sure, I have exciting things in the offing (multiple book signings, so that’s a plus, the first of which is this Saturday), but I find myself a little anxious when I notice it’s getting darker earlier. A bit claustrophobic, even. A far cry from the warm, cozy feels of the past. So, what is the problem, exactly?

The state of this country and of the world might be part of it, but that’s not what this post is about. We all know what’s going on without me ranting. I’m talking about the seasons. Best to stick with that.

I’ve never suffered from SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder), although I know people who have and do. I suppose it’s something that could creep up on you even if you’ve haven’t previously had an issue with it. Like TMJ. Yep, been experiencing a bit of that, lately. Had to give up nuts. Nuts! I love nuts. But biting into them is, well, nuts now. And TMJ is a physical ailment, unlike SAD.

Funny, those initials. Not funny ha-ha. Not even funny peculiar. More like a quirky coincidence, the initials, and the word they spell. Accurate, but quirky.

For me, this is likely to be a passing phase (she says hopefully). Come October, I might be as energized as ever by the longer nights. But it does make me understand and appreciate better what those who really and truly suffer from this seasonal disorder go through as summer slips away.

It occurs to me the manner in which we celebrate holidays with family and friends in the colder, darker months might to some degree be a direct result of the passing from lengthy light-filled days to shorter ones. Of something we all feel, deep down. Rather than the frenetic celebration of those sunny, warmer days, we become more contemplative in a way. Our awareness turns inward. Our hugs are tighter. Our hopes are more centered. Our lives appear both finite and forever. Life becomes a goal rather than a whim.

Or that could just be me in my head looking at the leaves and thinking about my tomatoes and wondering about the months ahead. Check back with me in October. I could be dancing beneath the stars and saying yes, yes, yes, it’s dark out folks! More time to write!

In the meantime, chin up.